the story of mikeFEST!™

Those of you living under a rock for last 27 years may be wondering, “What the darn-tootin’ is this mikeFEST!™ all about anyways, see?” (or however people who live under a rock talk), but at least you will have heard of it. And, of course, there are some others, who may celebrate mikeFEST!™ every May, but don’t reckon the history or follow the traditions. For you, for both of you, this is the story of mikeFEST!™:

‘Twas the night before mikeFEST!™ sometime between Canada finally gaining its independence from Britain and the Malvinas losing theirs yet again in what was considered an even swap at the time. But Alexander Haig had yet to resign, the Commodore 64 was about to come out and Epcot would open in the fall. And while still buried mid-April in over two feet of snow that year in upstate New York and in the middle of a recession almost as bad as the current one, there was a sparkle of hope to light the way and melt the ice. There was mikeFEST!™ The year was 1982.

All my Jewish friends (and all my friends were Jewish) were having their various mitzvahs and what 13 year old gentile wouldn’t covet the opportunity to have a huge party, get tons of presents (mostly in cash and check), hook up with a distant cousin, and network a well-paid career while still in junior high – all in exchange for a few lines of Hebrew. I was jealous, I felt left out and I wasn’t going to take it sitting down. Or was I?

mikeFEST!™ is an unexpected oasis between the Easter and summer holidays, a time when students are supposed to be preparing for finals and looking for summer jobs. mikeFEST!™ is the perfect excuse not to study or look for a job. It’s a celebration of procrastination – a vacation to life. A sit-down (with beer in hand) protest against arbitrary self-imposed responsibility. Pretty much anything can wait until after mikeFEST!™ and usually has to.

mikeFEST!™ took its time gaining momentum through junior and senior high, mostly revolving around a few non-events in varying degree of shenanigan and general hangings-out, while peppering the banter with references to ‘mikeFEST!™’. But the concept really took off in college, thanks in large part to (now Dr.) Tom Parker and Jason Epstein for strangely taking it seriously. Since then, it’s seemed to have followed me everywhere: France, Spain, Russia (майкФЕСТ!™), Germany, and the Czech Republic, current headquarters of mikeFEST!™, where it’s been fested since 1992. mikeFEST!™ is now celebrated in over 30 countries in 19 different languages.

Some answers to frequently asked questions (from people living under rocks):

mikeFEST!™ takes place from May 1 to May 12 (inclusive). In many markets, however, mikeFEST!™ (unofficially) begins on April 30, also known as mikeFEST! Eve™, Walpurgisnacht or Čarodějnice.

Yes, good question. You participate in mikeFEST!™ entirely at your own risk.

Not exactly. mikeFEST!™ is flexible, but doesn’t like surprises - although changes to the schedule can be frequent.

Sadly, no. No one has ever hosted mikeFEST!™ twice. What a dumb question.

It’s an ‘oblate spheroid’, actually, and revolves around the... you might want to come out for a second. It’s easier to show you.

If you have any other questions about mikeFEST!™ please direct them to the person on either side of you or dial a random number - if they indeed have people or phones under your rock.

But here’s something maybe you wouldn’t know and lord knows I’ve seen my share of mikeFEST!™s and the rule of thumb is this: the tougher the times, the better the mikeFEST!™. So now we have the swine flu, a worse and worsening recession, cancer, whatever. It’s our time, our moment. It’s mikeFEST!™. Let’s make it the best mikeFEST!™ ever! Together, we can.

See you at Chicken Day!

mike the mike in mikeFEST!™

http://www.xeno.cz/ home, where you can find both:
http://xeno.cz/calendar.html the (ever-incomplete) schedule (also below)
http://mikefest.blogspot.com/ and the blog (you're already here, silly) and on facebook.